Two Poems
Steven Kent

Don’t Misunderestimate Me

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So many offers now to fix my website;

They come by email all the doggone time,

The sender imitating a celeb site,

A Shiloh reenactor Johnny Reb site,

Or even a sorority or deb site –

Let’s outlaw these by fiat or by pleb’scite.

(And here you thought that “website” wouldn’t rhyme!)

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Dada Knows Best

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I’d rather wear denim than serve on a plenum

   And I could not marry a cook;

Now my head is spinning, and I call it winning

   Whenever I buy a new book.

 

I swore off Regina – you know what I mean. Ah,

   But here we are cozy again,

So what is the upshot, the why and the why not

   Of calling her up now and then?

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I’d rather wear old tweed than have a new nosebleed

   And I could not marry a queen. 

I scorn not the sonnet when I come upon it;

   Oh, surely you know what I mean.

 

We left for the weekend and went off the deep end,

   Then fell out again Sunday night,

But now that it’s Friday I’m thinking that I may

   Drop by if she says it’s alright.

 

I’d rather be mental than go to the dental

   Or give up my place here in line, 

So give me a minute to lose myself in it

   And everything’s bound to be fine.

 

I won’t be her tutor, I can’t be her suitor;

   It’s too hard to get away clean.

I’d never dispute her, but drama won’t suit her

   No matter the line, act, or scene.

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I’d rather be chosen than frugal or frozen,

   And I could not face it again

If I were a hooper, a smith, or a cooper,

   Antique occupations for men.

 

Our fling was a fly-by but then we said bye-bye;

   That hot wind was really a whirl.

I told her, “My love’s true” and she said, “Who are you?”

   Then I saw I had the wrong girl.

 

I fled to the seashore; I thought it would be more,

   But that gave me nothing I crave.

I hiked to the hilltops in only my flip-flops, 

   Which struck me as jolly well brave.

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I’d rather wear flannel than sit on a panel

   And I could not marry a nurse.

But my head is lighter (and days are much brighter)

   As things go from bad now to verse.

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Steven’s notes: “‘Don’t Misunderestimate Me’ was inspired by the surprising number of emails I get from spammers who tell me my website looks great (it doesn’t) and then offer to improve my search engine ranking. It also challenged me to find the most available rhymes for website; I might have exhausted the list here. For those across the Pond, Shiloh was an important battle of the American Civil War; grown men now don period-correct uniforms and reenact various battles of that conflict, and a soldier who served in the Confederate forces was sometimes called ‘Johnny Reb’ (short for ‘rebel’). ‘Dada Knows Best’ is the most bonkers poem I’ve ever written, an exercise in absurdity. The closing stanza was actually composed when I was an undergrad back in the Stone Age, but the rest of the poem is of more recent vintage.“​

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Steven Kent is the poetic alter ego of writer and musician Kent Burnside (www.kentburnside.com). His work appears in 251, Asses of Parnassus, The Dirigible Balloon, Light, Lighten Up Online, The Lyric, New Verse News, The Orchards Poetry Journal, Philosophy Now, The Pierian, Pulsebeat Poetry Journal, The Road Not Taken: A Journal of Formal Poetry, Snakeskin, and Well Read. His collections I Tried (And Other Poems, Too) (2023) and Home at Last (2025) are published by Kelsay Books.

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Hop to…

Andrew l David l Gail l Janet l Janice l John l Melissa l Mark l Martin l Mike l Paul l Susan l Word-Bird

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